Guarded Hearts Can't Be Broken
by PossibleIdeasAreLimitless
Summary: During S2 Finale - Their walls slowly began to rebuild, once again shielding the other from their hearts, because if they protect them well enough, they won't have a chance to break... First Fanfic. Reviews would be nice. :D


**Disclaimer:** Castle belongs to ABC. I'm only borrowing, no profits gained.

_So watching the season two finale damn near broke my heart, hopeless romantic that I am, but no matter how much I would love to see Beckett and Castle together, I really don't think the writers are going to allow it until the very end of the series, which hopefully won't be for a while. A great deal of shows struggle to keep afloat after the sexual tension is satisfied between main characters. So, as much as I appreciate all of the fanfictions when Beckett and Castle finally give in to their attractions for each other, I can't help but be a bit more realistic in my fanfiction. If you like it, that's fantastic. If you don't, I'm not forcing you to read it._

A look inside Beckett's and Castle's thoughts through the finale from the moment Castle saw Beckett with Demming to the promising end of a new beginning…

* * *

**Guarded Hearts Can't Be Broken**

Rick Castle heard Detective Kate Beckett giggling in the other room, making him smile through his wondering why she rarely laughed like that when in his presence. In fact, he didn't recall her ever giggling before and decided that he rather liked the soft, carefree sound that brought a warm tingling around his heart. He was then determined to try and have her giggle for him – not a chuckle, or snigger, or soft laugh that was usually at his expense. A real, girlish giggle that was mostly associated with playfully alluring behavior. He smirked at the thought while his curiosity finally won and he rounded the corner to see whom it was that could bring about this seemingly lighthearted Beckett, but his smile was lost instantly. A sense of anguish filled him instead as he saw her sitting on her desk, head tilted back in laughter and Demming leaning into her, nestled at her neck. She gently pushed him away with a smile, her dark eyes glittering from amusement.

Rick's pace toward the couple slowed as his body fought to retreat before they noticed him, yet his heart was determined to break up their intimacy before the scene caused it to falter. Kate caught sight of him by the time his body could succeed in retreating and he braved a shaky smile before nearing the two. As Demming left and Kate turned to grab her jacket, Rick tried unsuccessfully to steady the sporadic beating of his heart.

Why could this Demming guy, a robbery detective for crying out loud – he isn't even close to the same field as homicide – how could _he_ elicit a side of Kate that she made sure to keep hidden from a certain writer who has worked with her for almost a year now? Her _partner_ who cares for her immensely and has even saved her life a couple of times; who listens to what she says (well, okay, _mostly_ – he really doesn't like to stay in that car, but then, really, who would when all the action is taking place elsewhere?); who assisted in taking down her mother's killer – of course, the killer was of more use to her _alive_ since she still doesn't know _why_ the guy was hired to kill her mother, and he still berates himself for ruining that opportunity of an interrogation. . . Okay, this really isn't helping his case. But surely she could see that his careful regard not to pressure her into a relationship beyond what they had before she was ready, and his willingness to show her sides of him not very many people get to see suggested that he cared more than only a light attraction. He just couldn't understand it.

Although, in all honesty, Rick couldn't really blame her for not knowing how he truly felt. He made sure that he was rarely serious about his feelings, and the few times he actually let her see how much he cared, he made sure to follow it with either some frivolous flirting or something facetious. He figured that if he made a joke out of it, she wouldn't see how vulnerable his feelings for her made him. He was certain she didn't feel anything close to what he did for her, being with Demming proved it, so he hid behind his humor. . . . And he would admit that he was a bit fearful – he couldn't bear the thought that when he finally told her how he really felt, she might laugh at him, thinking it was another one of his jokes. He'd seen that scenario play out far too often. She wouldn't really mean it, he knew – just an instant reaction to his usual teasing – but it would still be a devastating blow.

When he had witnessed the two detectives kissing days before, Rick's heart couldn't bear the torture. He needed to leave, to escape. He wouldn't just stand around and watch how this new relationship would play out. These scenes he kept accidentally stumbling upon were already causing him enough pain. He couldn't imagine keeping up the pretense of still needing to shadow the savvy detective when Demming was so active in her life. He already had enough information to finish the Nikki Heat series and figured it was obvious why he still hung around the precinct. No more. It wounded him to see her with another guy, but she looked genuinely happy with Demming. She let herself relax when in Demming's presence as she didn't do very often in his. Her emotions, and definitely her heart, were guarded too closely when he was around. Perhaps he just wasn't what she was looking for.

But she wasn't the only one who built up walls. He had lost a part of his heart to Kyra Blaine long ago, making it to where, for a good long while, the only women he allowed in was his daughter and mother. Kate Beckett was the first woman who wasn't apart of his family that he let himself love as openly as he had with "the one that got away". And now, as the bitter Irony Gods have decreed, his second genuinely sincere love will follow the first.

Rick couldn't take this anymore. He needed a break – more like bow out gracefully. Maybe his weekend in the Hamptons should be extended. It would be the perfect place to steal away and focus his thoughts on finishing his book, instead of wasting all his energy trying to win over the elusive detective.

He was just thinking of the best time to inform her of his decision when she admitted to leaving with Demming for the weekend, though she turned down his own invitation to the Hamptons with an excuse of not having the vacation time. She claimed that she just didn't want things to become awkward now that she and Demming were 'together'.

He had always known words could serve as literary bullets, searing through the victim and leaving holes bigger than people ever thought possible. Hell, he'd written these situations before, but he didn't realize how a simple word like 'together' would be able to cause as much damage as it had. Perhaps not even the summer was a long enough break. He might even consider not returning at all. He decided now might be the time to tell her of his absence.

… … … … …

"_I thought that this would be our last case."_

Their last case? He certainly didn't mean absolutely, right? But then, why did it feel that way? Kate stared blankly at Castle, trying to hide the range of emotions those words had caused. He was only leaving to finish the new book. It wouldn't take him too long, right? Surely not more than the summer. And why was it suddenly so hard to joke about his leaving as she imagined she would do? It was even too hard to smile. Ryan had interrupted them before she could brood more on the subject, but now that the case was over and the team were in the midst of throwing Castle his going away party, she couldn't help but think that this might be the last time she'll see him, ever. She wasn't too sure how she felt about that.

Esposito didn't help matters either. She could still hear his voice telling her that Castle's summer long absence might not only be for the summer. He too thought that Castle might not come back at all. She swallowed hard, trying to force down the lump that seemed to have permanently wedged itself in her throat. She had asked herself several times why she felt so upset about Castle leaving indefinitely. From the first moment she met him he had been irritating, insufferable, childish and excessively arrogant and flirtatious. One would think she'd be ecstatic.

But then there was something about Castle that seemed to grow on her. She began not to mind having him around, no longer hesitated to include him in her cases and eventually looked forward to seeing him. Their daily banter was playful, bringing a bit of fun into her somewhat grim job, and she became used to forming theories with him, even growing jealous when he started to do so with Detective Shaw. His overall presence improved slightly when he allowed her to see certain attributes that she was sure he didn't show many people. Of course, he still favored to personify himself as the flirtatious playboy most of the time and managed to annoy her at least twice a day, yet for some odd reason she didn't mind as much. He was now part of the team, and it was difficult to imagine taking on cases without him.

Esposito's next four sentences affected her deeply:

"_Why do you think he's been following you around all this time? What…research? The guy's done enough research to write 50 books. Look, whatever the reason is, I'm pretty sure it doesn't include watching you be with another guy."_

The words confused her at first – not in the sense that she didn't understand their meaning. The confusion was in the respect that Castle's reputation with women and inappropriate sexual innuendos blatantly contradicted what she was sure Esposito was trying to tell her. Castle was nothing more than a flirt and refused to deeply care for anyone besides his daughter and mother. She was sure that not even his ex-wives exceeded the barrier. How could Esposito suggest that Castle, her irritating, loquacious shadow, could harbor such feelings for her? He could only be disappointed that after a year of pursuing her, he hadn't been able to add her to his list of conquests and had finally given up, defeated. After all, his flirting never hinted that he was serious about developing a real relationship. She wasn't even sure he was capable of one.

No. That wasn't fair. A petite dark beauty in a lavish wedding dress filled her mind for a fleeting moment. Kyra Blaine had taken a piece of him she didn't think he ever got back. She saw a deep affection cloud Castle's eyes when he first saw Kyra after so long. The intensity of the emotion took her by surprise, and she felt an unexpected pang in her heart as she became practically invisible to Castle whenever Kyra was in the same room. Perhaps this woman was the reason no other woman had been able to penetrate his heart; he guarded the rest of it so protectively that he only let a very few people glimpse the real Castle.

In fact, now that Kate thought about it, _she_ was one of those people. How else can she explain his willingness for her to see that he is actually a good person, or the look of adoration in his eyes she catches when he thinks she isn't looking. He even played an important role in helping to solve her mother's murder. Sure, she was furious at first. She specifically asked him not to look into her mother's case. She didn't know him well enough for him to immerse himself into a very private part of her life, nor was she ready to revisit those emotions that always followed even the slightest whisper of her mother's murder. But if it wasn't for him, not to mention his generous contributions of more than twice her annual income that he readily gave her without hesitation, she never would have found out as much as she had. Of course, she did need the outcome to play out differently than it had and knew that Rick still blamed himself for it. Yet, she finally made the bastard who killed her mother pay for his crime, though it wasn't enough. The monster was hired to rip her family apart without a second thought, and she still longed to know why. She knew that she wanted Rick there when she discovered the reason.

She thought back to that empty chair next to her desk and couldn't help but associate it with an empty feeling in her chest when she thought that the chair may never be filled by Rick again. Then there was the single coffee he carried when he always used to bring her one as well. She was now sure that she wouldn't be okay with him leaving. What really got her thinking were the words Montgomery voiced after Kate gave him her report – that "all the party involved were too scared to admit how they truly felt". She instantly thought of Rick. He came to tell her that he would make it in time for the party after he saw Alexis off, and she smiled at the way his eyes always lit up when he talked about his daughter. He returned her smile with one of his own and the effect that one smile had on her stomach as it twisted and fluttered was enough to broaden her smile. She decided he looked cute confused. Kate then reflected on the fact that she began to call him 'Rick' instead of 'Castle' and marveled how the irritating man could batter his way through her walls when no other had come close, not even Tom.

Oh, right. Tom. She caught sight of him and her smile slowly faded as she thought about what she was going to do. Tom was great, but Rick had a little something more. Did he actually care for her as she thought? She guessed there was only one way to find out. Perhaps a weekend in the Hamptons was what she needed after all. But first, she had something to do.

She led Tom away to a secluded area of the precinct and tried to let him go gently. She felt awful for the way she had to end her relationship with him, but she had to be honest. He really wasn't what she was looking for right now. She realized her search ended months ago; she was just too blind to see it for what it was. The words seemed harsh no matter how softly she said them, and he seemed to understand. He truly was a great guy.

She then tried to gather up her nerves and waltzed into the party. She grabbed a beer to give her hands something to do instead of twirling nervously and headed straight for Rick. He gave her a warm smile that she couldn't help but return while she asked him if she could talk to him for a second.

Outside the party, Kate struggled with what to say. Her heart fluttered madly in her chest, making it more difficult for her voice to sound calm as she would have preferred. She hoped it wasn't too obvious. She finally blurted that she was just going to say what she needed to and see where it goes from there. Before she could even finish her sentence, however, a female voice called his name, and Gina, his ex-wife and publisher, sidled up beside him.

… … … … …

Rick inwardly cringed as he heard Gina's voice interrupt Kate. Didn't they look like they were in a private conversation? He knew why she did, though. Gina had always been the jealous type, even when she really had no right to him anymore. Her voice brought him back to why she was here in the first place. He had finally broken down the night before and answered her fortieth phone call where she reprimanded him for a full ten minutes for not answering her very important calls and then asked him when she would have the finished draft of _Naked Heat_ within her hands. He had told her that he was actually going to his house up in the Hamptons to finish it, and that she should have it very soon. Contented with that answer, she noticeably relaxed and they fell into comfortable conversations. He had asked her that night if she would like to accompany him, as he wasn't exactly sure how he would cope being alone for the summer with nothing but Detectives Kate Beckett and Nikki Heat occupying his every thought. She declined at first, but then she accepted his offer earlier that afternoon – before he told Kate that this last case was exactly that: the last.

Rick wondered what made Kate so flustered when trying to speak to him before Gina showed up. His heart hoped for the best, as it certainly sounded as though she was about to voice repressed feelings for him, but his mind quickly berated the dysfunctional organ, reminding himself that she was with Demming. There was no way she would lead him on while still attached to another. She wasn't that type of person, and he admired that greatly. He summed up her uncomfortable demeanor to being upset about saying goodbye. He knew they had at least become good friends, and she acted as any friend would when not wanting to see him leave.

He introduced Kate and Gina, the two barely grasping each other's hand, and tried not to cringe again with Gina's teasing of biting him. It was sure to make Kate feel uncomfortable. He was relieved when Gina reminded him that they needed to be on their way, yet for some reason he felt even worse after explaining to her that Gina was coming with him to the Hamptons. Why should he feel guilty for spending time with Gina when Kate was spending her time with Demming? The feeling just wouldn't go away, and then, making matters worse, it deepened when Gina informed Kate quite brashly that she was staying for the summer so that she could 'stay on top of him'. Something he couldn't quite identify flashed in Kate's dark eyes before settling on inquisitive, and she voiced the question he was sure to hear quite a bit after word got out that he was spending the summer with the ex-wife he supposedly hated.

The truth was they hadn't gotten along this well in a very long while, and Rick was grateful for the diversion from his main 'distraction', as his poker buddies called her. Besides, he really didn't expect Gina to stay with him for very long. He didn't think even _he_ would be out there the entire summer since the book was almost finished anyway. But then again, he did need the time to try and overcome his feelings for the inspiring Kate Beckett. She seemed to be quite upset from his leaving, which made his heart hope, and in turn made him realize that he needed to leave now before her loosely controlled façade crumbled and he would want to sweep her up into his arms in comfort – and probably ruin whatever chance he may have had with her. He was sure she didn't fell that way about him, and didn't think that gathering her up in an intimate embrace would go over well, not to mention the fun fact that she was still with Demming.

Rick finally offered his hand out to Kate and couldn't help but notice the first sign for distancing himself from her. Surely they were good enough friends for a hug, but no. He wouldn't be able to handle the intimacy a hug can bring. She took it gently while they exchanged parting words, and he turned to leave with Gina clinging to his side.

… … … … …

Kate tried to gain control over her feelings after hearing that Rick was leaving for the summer with his ex-wife. She almost couldn't keep the disappointment out of her voice as she questioned the two, always holding a bit of hope that Gina was only going to keep him focused on his book. However, the woman made it very clear what she had in mind for the summer, and Kate was forced to bury more emotions within. When he offered his hand to her, she almost broke. Would it have been too inappropriate for a hug goodbye? They were friends after all. She was almost tempted to initiate the hug herself, but her cowardice won. The way he was behaving made her second guess he had any real feelings for her. And yet, as far as he knew, she and Tom were still together. He could only be respecting her distance, since he knew Tom was a bit threatened by him. As it turned out, he had every reason to be, considering whom she chose in the end. But then, as irony rears its ugly head, Rick chose someone else over her. Perhaps she still had a chance if she just told him the truth.

He turned to leave, and she almost called after him, spilling all she wanted to tell him in a few rushed sentences, but she stayed quiet. Maybe they both needed a break for the summer. She definitely needed to reassess her feelings. They overwhelmed her, all crashing into her within a day or two, and she rarely barreled into something without thinking about it thoroughly first.

So Kate only watched as Gina led Rick away. They were almost to the elevators when a fleeting last question escaped her, and she silently kicked herself for sounding so small.

He turned back around, a smile on his lips, and reaffirmed her question, letting her release the breath she was holding. And as they looked into each other's eyes for the last time, each thinking that the other was with someone else, their defensive methods for dealing with these exact situations began to engage. Their walls slowly began to rebuild, once again shielding the other from their hearts, because if they protect them well enough, they won't have a chance to break.

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Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it. :)


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